The Principles
The eight principles developed by Ray Castellino aim to create a safe relational space. They are present in healthy families and groups.
They support nervous system regulation, connection and cooperation, and provide a framework for working with early, prenatal, and birth memories, as well as for discovering, repairing, and integrating early trauma patterns in people, families, and groups of all ages.
These principles are an important part of the way I accompany others and also an intention for everyday life, both personally and professionally.
A way of creating conditions of safety, listening, and respect so that each person can feel welcomed and acknowledged in their experience, fostering a space where what has been interrupted or not integrated can be discovered and, when possible, repaired and integrated, at their own pace, both in individual accompaniment and in groups and collective spaces.
Welcome
We welcome you. Here and now.
We welcome all parts of you, including your strengths and vulnerabilities.
We welcome the full spectrum of your emotions and thoughts.
Every baby and every person is welcome.
Feeling welcome is a fundamental need for development.
Mutual Support and Cooperation
We support and help one another, respecting each person’s wellbeing and needs.
We relate to one another without competition or imposition, always leaving space to choose whether we want to give or receive support.
It is a non-competitive way of relating, in which everyone benefits.
Choice
We move at a pace or tempo that allows each person to stay in contact with their experience and know whether the direction they are taking feels right. We allow enough space to know and be able to say yes, no, or maybe.
“No” is welcomed and respected. This can be a reparative experience in response to situations of being forced or coerced experienced during childhood.
Pause | Self-Regulation
We take the time we need to integrate our experience moment by moment.
We can ask for and take a pause during a meeting, conversation, or activity.
When a pause is taken, the process stops until the person has completed their pause.
Self-Care
We care for our basic needs: we eat, rest, sleep, hydrate ourselves, eliminate waste… according to what we need at each moment.
Self-care supports the wellbeing of the individual and also that of the group.
Brief and Frequent Eye Contact
We maintain brief and frequent eye contact to support mutual support and connection.
Without this brief eye contact — approximately every minute — the distance between us can increase, and we often begin to create stories or interpretations about the other person based on our own history.
Negotiated Contact and Attention
We negotiate contact and attention, leaving space to listen, feel, and choose whether we want to make contact and in what way.
We engage in physical contact with full awareness and respect for the other person’s pace, so that the person receiving the contact can decide, at every moment, whether or not they want to be touched.
We differentiate contact from attention.
Confidentiality
We can speak freely about our own experience, but we consider other people’s stories sacred. Therefore, we ask permission before sharing them.